My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
