I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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