just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
