my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
