I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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