dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
