trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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