so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
that may or may not have been my penis.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
