Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
