He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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