Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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