Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
