i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize