if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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