Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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