We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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