Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
