I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it's like iHOP with fire
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
