im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
