I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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