Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
