I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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