there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize