Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
