I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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