I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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