Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
