At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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