thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
