I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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