Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
do herpes really smell.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
