I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
