How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize