you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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