i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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