UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
