im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
How's work?
Spinning.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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