i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
