I am in a vortex of obligation.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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