lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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