operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
