Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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