Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
