I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
