Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm at about main and main street
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
