You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
