did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
