Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
