i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
