yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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