i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She announced her abortion via fbk
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
