The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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