She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
