So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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