i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
