therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize