I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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