Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
